You have condemned me to a life of boredom in the castle. Alone in Albion, I have nothing to do but worry about how you are fairing away from your home.
I never thought that I would be grateful for your four hours a day for six months teaching me the art of literature. I did not think that I would ever need the knowledge to spell and read! So, for that, I am indebted by your teaching for those long hours.
The war is much the same: Threats and vile tempers on either side. William has decided to fight after all, leaving his job as the castle’s gardener. I fought with him on the subject, of course. The conversation was just yesterday, and I’ve been ever moping since. He left this morning, and I didn’t say goodbye to him. The discussion started much as it always did with William.
“The garden looks lovely,” I had commented, indicating the bunch of flowers that he was tending.
“Hello, Raine.” He replied softly.
I waited a moment, thinking of something to say that would break the awkward tension that was in his voice that day. I couldn’t think of anything, so I just said whatever was in my head.
“What do you think of me?” Yes, I had asked him. After who knows how many years of admiration for him, I decided that it was time to find out if he felt the same about me as I did about him. You can imagine my expression however you want, but you should know me well enough that you figured my face was indifferent. It was expressionless, I didn’t know which of my emotions to reveal before I knew what he was thinking.
He sighed, thinking. “Hmm. Raine, let us not speak of this.”
I was still stuck in a mindless stupor when he said this. I was shocked that he would not give me a straight answer, as level-headed as he was.
He looked down at the flowers, lost in thought. I let the silence consume me, as I my mind drifted to a place far away.
William was the first to break the silence, saying that I should know something.
“I’ve decided to fight, Raine. I can not put you in possession of my feelings right now.”
“William!” I was appalled. He was the one who had said that he would stay in Albion as long as I wanted him to. He promised.
“It is a just cause, Raine. A cause that you will never understand. I feel it is right to go.” His voice expressed no hint of emotion, and he continued to look down.
“I am not a child, William. I can understand, if you let me.” I was very frustrated by the fact that he believed I could not comprehend what Albion stood for. I didn’t want him to, but I let him go. I marched off with my head held high (I hope you are proud of me for that fact, Ashe!) and did not turn back, even when he called my name.
Maybe he did have feelings for me in return, but now I will not know until he returns. If he returns.
On another note, I tried to plait my hair without your help, but it all got tangled between my fingers after an hour of attempt. I now know that I should not endeavor to do anything special with it now, and I have simply been letting it fall free down my back.
Though this is also a problem, as it gets in my way, and Mrs. Couture is always complaining that my blonde hair is getting into the “good food of the rich”. She is a most unpleasant miser! Oh! You always knew that she was simply horrid.
Hopefully happy days ahead,